In God we Trust?...

"I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America. 

and to the republic, for which it stands...One Nation, Under GOD, 

Indivisible...with Liberty and Justice for all."~ Francis Bellamy, 1892

We teach every child these words: but do we live by them? 
In America, it seems that we no longer desire to Stand as One nation...under God. 
Over the past 50 years, we have made a conscious decision to slowly turn away from God. We forcibly and systematically have fought to push God out of school, government, courts, politics, etc., in the name of 'Separation of Church and State.' We have even considered no longer calling America a 'Christian Nation,' recommended removing 'In God we Trust' from dollar bills, and contemplated forming alliances with those who worship other gods..in the name of 'peace' (and oil/money). If we look throughout biblical history, we must know that embracing these behaviors eventually result in the destruction of the people who do it...Yet we still look for His blessings on this Nation! 


I do find it interesting, though, that when tragedies occur, we are surprised, and look to God as if He has abandoned/forsaken us. For example, after September 11th Trade Center Attacks, you couldn't FIND a seat in the church, and people who had never prayed before were rushing to thier knees. I also noticed that there were people who cursed God as thier loved ones perished, questioning Him, and asking him 'Where were you when  ----  died? All those innocent people who had to suffer. Where was GOD through this tragedy?"  

A New Thing....Pregnant!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."~ Jeremiah 29:11

SO...I finished all of my Summer college classes!! *CHEER*

I excelled in all four subjects and ended the semester with Straight 'A's~ 4.0 GPA Baby!! *Cabbage Patch*
*Running Man*  *Butterfly* ...(Yeah, Yeah I'm old school.. lol)

I have been on a slight high, and motivated to do more. What I recently decided was that I am going to go for my Masters and get a heavier load for fall...15 units instead of 12 so that I can finish more quickly. I am even shooting for Honors Classes so that I can get the best scholarships available. Shouldn't be hard with my GPA. *pops collar* suddenly, I am understanding what God means by "Hope for the Future". He desires us to overcome, excel and have faith that He will work it all out in the end. And He makes the plans, not us. He already knows what he has in mind for us the moment we enter this earth, and places within us the means to succeed in it.

SPRING Cleaning!!

This entire past month we took time to travel across country. We started in Statesboro, went to Atlanta, then to Wyoming, Denver, New Mexico, Las Vegas, then finally California.  It was so wonderful to spend the extra time with the kids and allow them to see the countryside. We got to visit old friends, and reconnect with family that we hadn’t seen in years.  We also just enjoyed Gods creation.  We went through the Rocky Mountains and marveled at the Waterfalls, we saw deserts, plains and valleys. We experienced rain, hail, and extreme heat, sometimes all in one day!  The experience showed us that God may eventually move us again, or require us to go outside of our ‘Comfort Zone’, but we are to be okay with that. We have discovered over this past year that we are more adaptable than we ever knew, and so are our children. As long as we are doing His work, it doesn’t matter if we are called to go to the North Pole. Our furniture and things have been in storage for a year, and now we are accustomed to living out of boxes and in small spaces.  We have prayed for a home, but he won’t let us get comfortable. He wants us to go out and touch the world and change lives.

Genesis 12:1-3

¹ The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

 ² “I will make you into a great nation,
   and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
   and you will be a blessing.^[a]
3 I will bless those who bless you,
   and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
   will be blessed through you.”^[b]

 

Abraham was instructed to go away from the land that he lived in with his family, and find a new place to settle.  A place where God would bless him, and his family, and make his name great.  I can relate to the fear and anxiety of being called to a new environment, (maybe even one less favorable than the one he was already in), and having to uproot your life and family and step out on faith.  It’s the story of our lives.

Over the past year, our lives have changed dramatically. On a word from God, we went from a comfortable life in Atlanta, to a cramped, financially strapped existence in Tennessee. Our initial purpose was to come here and start a Youth Program, called LOL (Light of Life) Youth Empowerment Organization. Of course, that project had its complications due to greed and bad choice of partners.

Grace and Mercy...even for the 'Christian'!

                                                            John 8:1-11:  

 "Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.He straightens up again, and speaks to her. 'Where are your accusers?' he asks. 'Has no-one seen fit to condemn you?' She simply answers 'No-one, sir.' 'Then I do not condemn you either' says Jesus. 'Go on your way, and do not sin anymore.'"

This story always causes me to deeply reflect, and examine my heart when it comes to sin. It is a very well-known, familiar story, but whenever I read it, It still causes me to sit back and take a look at my own actions and realize that none of us are above judging ourselves. It is not just the story of some, but of all of us. I'm especially talking to fellow Christians. 

This week in one of our family bible studies, a young man proceeded to talk about adultery. He said that adultery was a sin on the top of God's list of hates. He claimed that it makes you unacceptable in the eyes of your spouse and God, and that it is hugely immoral. What he said seemed as if it made sense, and many of the listeners probably agreed with him, understandably. But I just felt there was something missing in His theory...at the time, I couldn't put my finger on it....and then later I realized...it was 'Grace' and 'Mercy'. 

Grace and Mercy are two different things. Grace is when you get something you don't deserve, like a unexpected blessing or gift. Mercy is when you don't get something that you do deserve, like a 'get out of jail free' card when you've done wrong. 

Both are God's attributes and given freely to those who seek Him.   

Little Miss Strawberry Shortcake...

'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,  "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11

When I was growing up, I would read huge books, write novels, and make up characters, and act them out. In the fourth grade, I was tested and determined to have a 12th grade reading level. I was placed in gifted classes, and went to Montessori school at one point. I would create board games from scratch, put together detailed ‘school plans’ and stay up for hours into the night, making fake school lessons. (replicating each page dozens of times, because I had no copier) Its pleased me to see people take something I had put together and learn something. I spent lots of time alone and to me it make no sense.  I loved to tell long stories, and hear long stories. People would get aggravated with my endless questions "and then what happened? And how did you LOOK while you said that to her? What was her response?" I loved to paint mental pictures. I spent alot of time alone in isolation, but it gave me time to develop my imagination. 

I constantly read books and among my favorite was Helen Keller, and usually other stories of people who had difficult upbringing and overcame the odds. I loved Strawberry Shortcake (I owned everything from her clothing to every toy that came out to the point where my Grandmother called me 'Strawberry Shortcake' sometimes), Pippi Longstocking, and Annie... all examples to me of independent children who lived on their own and were happy and thrived. Why was I drawn to these stories? Perhaps because in my own life I spent alot of time alone, raising myself, and was unknowingly soon to overcome great challenges. I used those stories to give me strength. How did I know I would eventually write scripts and teach drama, and work with girls and women in a teaching capacity, helping them to overcome their own temptations and challenges?. When I was younger, making my own plans, I said I wanted to be a Veterinarian, but God had other plans for me. I always said ‘Anything but a teacher!” Sometimes the last thing you think you want to do, is right where God places you!

Making Progress....through the Wilderness

       
Here is the completed Logo for my new Program, 'The Heartwood Project'. 
...Aint it beautiful?
What I love about it, is that it shows the heart of the tree, the roots, the branches and growth all at once. It's perfect! The entire program is designed to help others learn how to cut off the 'dead roots' of their past, re-generate new roots, and cultivate a healthy legacy for themselves and the next generation. The entire seminar will be done in a 'gardening' context, which will make it fun and interactive. At the same time, you will be required to 'dig up' some painful things that you will be able to finally overcome...for good, if you complete the entire course...which goes on for 40 days afterwards.

I can just about guarantee that it will be truly life-changing for those who attend! 

Mother's Day...for the True Mother 2's

In Memory of Patricia Lyle Smith: My 1st Substitute Mother...

On Mothers Day, I was truly grieved. Of course, I kept on the smiles, and pretended to be fine...but this is a blog, right? So...I have to write my inner feelings. Hopefully this will help someone else.

I just want to say that all Mothers dont deserve celebration just because they gave birth. I know this may sound rude and controversial...but there are some of us that grew up without hugs, kisses, affection, love, feelings of worth and acceptance....some of us who had mothers who were in the clubs and in the streets, and on drugs, and allowed all sorts of vile things to happen to thier children. Some of us who were not protected by the ones who were supposed to protect, or help by the arms designed to hold. Some who never looked out into the audience at a play or game and saw thier mother sitting there, proudly smiling and cheering them on.

...Some of us to whom Mother's Day has a whole nother meaning.

The Heat is On....

At my job, they are aware that I have ministry involvements. As a matter of  fact, upon hiring, I stated them up front. I let them know that I am the Drama Director at my church, and that I will be required to be there Wednesday nights, and Saturday and Sunday mornings. Also, Thursday nights I lead a Women's WOW phone bible study. This was put into the computer as my 'default availability'.

I noticed on my schedule last week that they had me scheduled for a meeting on Sunday morning. I promptly went to my supervisor and let her know tht I would not be able to attend the meeting, and that it is already stated on my default that I cant work Sundays. She asked me why, and I explained. At that point nothing else was said.

Monday, then I came in, three managers pulled me aside and asked why I wasnt at the meeting.

STOP PLAYING 'DRESS UP'!!

hyp·o·crite
[hip-uh-krit]  
–noun
1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
or the sake of your tradition.

I am so sick of hypocrites!! ~They give us Christians a BAD Name!

Would it surprise you to discover that Jesus didn't like hypocrites either? Not only were they insincere, He said, but they made a mockery of true faith and brought disgrace to it.
JESUS CHRIST did not mince words when it came to religious hypocrisy. That, more than anything else, is what got Him killed. His death was a staged assassination by a few religious hypocrites who The Lord was very effectively exposing to the people under their authority.
In fact, some of Jesus' strongest words were directed at people who claimed to follow God but in reality weren't obeying Him but were selfish and unloving and evil. On one occasion, He boldly condemned some of the religious leaders of His day with these words: "On the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness" (Matthew 23:28). God knows our hearts and minds, He was reminding them - and nothing is hidden from Him.
Jesus: "..you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites!... 'This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me; in VAIN do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.'" (Matthew 15:1-9 RSV)

Jesus was so straight up and direct, he was eventually killed for speaking against them. (Although we know he purposely laid down His life, thier intentions at the time were obviously to 'silence' him)

Taming the Tongue!

This past Friday in our family bible study, we discussed controlling our mouths. This is important for those who profess to be 'Christians' on Sunday's, but Monday thru Saturday say whatever comes out of thier mouths, no matter how hateful, disrespectful, or rebellious.
 
The Bible warns that believers who do not bring restraint to their tongue and speech have been deceived — and without such control over their words, their religious acts are worthless and hypocritical. “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (James 1:26). It is a deception for any of us to think that Jesus can be Lord over our life, without also becoming Lord over our tongue.
……So too, though the tongue is a small part [of the body], it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites (James 3:5).

What I have learned too is that the more you start to operate in the 'Fruits of the Spirit' of Galatians, you will feel the need less and less to live by the flesh. It is hard to Break old habits, but easier when you REPLACE them with new habits.

Grown Ups that need to...Grow up!

How many times have we heard the words "Im Grown!" From some young person, as they disrespect an elder, or even some grown person who uses it to justify thier outlandish behavior. If you are truly GROWN, as you state.. you shouldnt need to declare it to everyone who will listen. It should be obvious in the way you walk, talk, act, and carry yourself.

Let's get it straight: There is a big difference between being 'Grown' and being 'Mature'! You HAVE to grow up (older) due to time passing, but Maturity is gained by Wisdom, Self-Control, and doing the Right thing: even when no one us looking! QOTD: Are you a Real Woman/Man...or still just a big KID!? I see alot of 30-50 year old who are still immature, and have seen some teens who are respectful, mature, and extremely wise.

See...most time it's the people who love to say 'Im 'grown'' that are still behaving like 6 year olds:
Throwing temper tantrums, lying, and gossiping even well into their 30's and 40's. How can we expect the next generation to learn what it is to be mature if we don't role model it ourselves!? WE have grown men who refuse to work, sit around playing video games all day, and allow themselves to be supported by the women in thier lives. I know women who leave thier kids home and party at the club, dress younger than thier teen daughters, and fight in the streets like female hoodlums at 40.

...WHY ME?!?!

For it is written:

“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;

the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”

‘Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom...but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” ~ 1 Cor 1: 19-31

From the time I was young, I have felt the hand of the Lord on my life. Although I wasn’t raised around Christians, God always seemed to send Godly people along my path.  I felt that His hands were always there, leading and guiding me, even when I didn’t want to be led or guided...even through my teen rebellious years.  At age 18, I was basically homeless and pregnant, with a one year old, and went to live with a white family, who taught me about the Lord, and showed me love. It was my own personal ‘Different Strokes’ story. These people initially were strange to me- they sang, talked, walked and lived for Jesus. I had never seen or experienced anything like them. Their love enveloped me, and they totally accepted me, regardless of what I did. They patiently answered my many questions about God and His ways, and  for 6 months they were there...all the way through the birth of my daughter, to my wedding day. And I knew the entire time that God had orchestrated the whole thing. And still I asked...Why me?

The Heartwood Conception...

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce! Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well...like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding (of the root issue)."

-- Thich Nhat Hahn

This concept of planting and reaping is what I have decided to base my 'Heartwood Project' program on. I was originally trying to find a Public speaking niche that was unique, and looking to create a market for myself in speaking. I already speak about abstinence, Abortion, etc. But I felt that there was something that I could address that was different. So, a while back, I asked my Facebook friends 'What would you PAY to hear someone do a seminar about?' I figured that this would inspire me to come up with a topic that was needed. Interestingly, the overwhelming majority said 'How to overcome the pain of your past so it doesnt affect the future.' And it was then that I relaized that alot of people out there want to get OVER stuff, and really dont know how to do it.

In Love with LOVE...

 

 

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”...Heb 13:5

Wow! What man on this earth can promise that, and really LIVE by it? Unconditional, undying, pursuing, patient love with NO limits? God stands at the door of your heart and knocks, just waiting for you to open up and fully surender to His Love, but so many of us are not ready to let go of the ‘Love’ we feel we have here on earth.  We feel as if we need ‘Human arms’ to hold us at night.

My heart always aches when I see young girls degrade themselves, strip down in photos, offer thier bodies, and desperately chase men, in order to feel attention and value for what ends up being temporary pleasure. They will acept anyone who treats them any kind of way, just for the sake of being in a ‘relationship.’ Some of us dont even love ourSELVES, and are looking for someone else to love us unconditionally.

 

So why do we keep LOOKING for it...when we already have it?!? Dont be so afraid of being alone that you settle for less than what God can offer you...and less than you deserve. ~You already have the Greatest LOVE of all! But are you even ready or willing to receive it? Actions speak louder than words; Love is a verb, not a noun.

1 Corinthians 13 describes what TRUE Love is...and what it isnt. So, the next time someone tells you they love you, refer to that chapter as the measure.  ~What you find there may truly suprise you!

I love this poem written by my daughter. This is only part of it, but she is such a young lady full of wisdom when it comes to matters of the heart and God:

LOVE...By Briana D Williams

Let me get this correct

Just for effect

Cause I don't think you guys understand my dialect

Yes my dialect,

Need I be more direct?

Or Is what I'm saying just too Complex ?

Yes cause what I'm trying to say is...

Your love is not love- unless it's the type of love that God gives 

It's patient

And love is kind.

Kind.

More than him staring as you attempt to switch your behind

trying to get noticed, but to him it's dully noted

your a face with no name, free to use at his disposal

a pastime and a shoulder

An invitation to come over 

Five minutes, all is given, and he'll be absent by the morning...

It's doesn't boast

it's not proud

It's certainly not rude

He should be more than willing to take a walk in your shoes

instead of pressuring you into doing the do

He should want to take the pain from you

He should want to give not gain from you

This man should be willing to get on down on  his knees and pray for you

Protect and defend your honor too

Love,

Look, I'm talking about that Crazy love

It's not temperamental

It won't leave you scarred and bitter

a broken woman who mistakes lust for love and uses it as shelter

It doesn't have society's limitations

one mistake,

two mistakes,

three mistakes,

four

and still it forgives and forgets without any hesitations

because Love....

Love never Fails.

The Lord Giveth....

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
   and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
   may the name of the LORD be praised.” --Job 1:21

I surely felt like Job this week as I watched our one and only car get taken by the Repo man.  He even tried to start an altercation, but I just calmly handed him the keys, called my children to help clean out the car, gathered my personal belongings in a garbage bag,  and walked away with my head high, without even looking back. Humiliating in front of the neighbors, yes...but after my mother’s fire this week, my aunt in by-pass surgery and me not being able to afford to go be by her side, and not being able to afford my daughters cap and gown, or college down payment... this seemed to pale in comparison. So, to celebrate, I went to a restaurant by myself, sat at a bar and ordered a glass of wine. I don’t even drink. I just wanted to stop feeling the anger and sadness that I knew was coming on. Even my prayers were not easing the hurt this time....they just felt bitter.

As I sat...In my mind, I started mulling over everything I had lost, and was losing. My husband has to leave town all week long to work on the road, and brings home just enough to pay the rent, and a few bills. I formed a one-man ‘pity party’ about how my bank account had just been closed, and my internet is off.  I even ‘reminded’ God that I have been submersing myself in ministry and spending my days uplifting others. How I spend the little bit of money that I do make on gas traveling down to the church three days per week. Complained that there are 9 of us living in an apartment, and no one else contributing. I think how through all that is going on, I even remain faithful...and boy have I been tempted! Two very wealthy men have offered to fly me out of town- one to Paris and Mexico-free of charge. I have handsome men that are in the public eye, daily telling me how beautiful I am, and that I need to be treated like a queen....while all of my possessions are in storage, and I have two pairs of shoes I have been wearing for the past 8 months. (Scratch that...now three, because my son bought me a pair) Yet, I still tell these men ‘No thank you’. I say it shakily, so shakily...but I say it.  I have to pray for strength, afterwards, but I still pray.  I have to stay mindful that these men want to use me, and possibly throw me away afterwards. And while temporarily it may be a exciting experience while it is happening...in the end I will be left lonelier than ever, with scars of rejection, and low self-esteem.  Angry at myself for becoming that ‘foolish woman that tears her house down with her own hands.’ -Proverbs 14:1, and later having to beg God, and my children for forgiveness. And being embarrassed in front of all of those women I ministered to....Oh, no. I refuse to go out like that!

I must keep reminding myself that God is trying to show us something right here, right now...that there is a lesson here. I just wish I knew 100% what it is...but obviously it is not for me to know fully yet.   
One thing I am sure of: God has us in Memphis for a reason. Obviously not what I originally thought, but I know there is a Purpose for us to uproot our lives and come here. Even if it was just to do what I have done in the Drama Dept at New D Church. The youth in the drama team have just blessed me in so many ways. They have worked hard, been focused and dedicated, and even turned their lives around. We have totally fallen in love with them. Our children have closer relationships with God than ever before. They hold their own bible studies, and are fasting and reading on their own. The women on my WOW studies have been blessed. At one time, I was hosting that call with my electricity in the house turned off, and doing the lesson sitting out in my car!  And women still told me that the study blessed them, changed their lives, and empowered them to move forward. And so.... I realize... that I have Power. And the enemy is obviously mighty afraid of that Power.         

‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.’--John 10:10

I know that Satan is trying to distract me from my Purpose. I know that he knows my weaknesses, and he also knows I have an important mission. For years, he has attempted to tear our family apart, and uses every weapon in his arsenal to do it, including ourselves. He has not succeeded yet, and I know that irritates him.  Sometimes I think we all stay together just to make him mad...lol...So I pray, rebuke, and try to stay aware...and attempt daily to focus on the positive. I know that the God I serve is a Restorer. He even restored Job after Job lost everything.  If he can do it for Job...he can do it for me, right?

Restore... reinstate, re-establish, bring back, return, refurbish, renovate, repair, make amends, (make an) end, finish, full, give again, make good, (re-) pay (again), (make) (to) (be at) peace . . . prosper (-ous), recompense, render, require, make restitution, restore, reward, surely.

I learned that when God restores He brings the object of restoration back in a better way than it was in its former state! When God restores, He brings increase with it! When God restores, He multiplies it! When God restored Job, He gave Job double (Job 42:10). That is the nature of my God. After our first fire, we got our home back better than it was before the fire, and our income had doubled during that time. So I have witnessed it firsthand.

Restoration is a principle exemplified throughout God's Word. Almost every single time, the return was ordered to be more than that--a double blessing, or four or five times greater (Exodus 22:1; 22:4; Leviticus 6:5, 22:14). There was a "seven fold" principle in connection with restoration (and vengeance) as well. Proverbs 6:31b says, "Yet when he (the thief) is found, he must restore sevenfold…"

I know this to be true because in the Bible there are several examples of when harm came to someone or something was stolen... God commanded and brought restoration greater than what was plundered or robbed.

The Lord is the only one who can restore those years to us—and He does it supernaturally. No other power in heaven or on earth can create or renew time. It happens only through the supernatural power of the Lord.

Restoration of lost years is based upon an additional truth found in Joel 2:12–17: our need to actively seek the Lord. That passage begins with God’s command: “Now, therefore [because of the devastation you have seen],’ says the LORD, ‘turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning” (verse 12, NKJV). Healing and restoration come when we turn deliberately to seek the Lord with all our heart, acknowledging that He is the only one who can restore. So I keep seeking, keep standing, despite what it looks like, because I know that God has big plans for me. He hasn’t revealed them all yet, but he just told me that I need to sit down and finish my programs, so that’s what I do in all my spare time.

God wants to restore everything to you too! What has the enemy stolen from you?

Jesus has indeed come to restore what Satan has taken away. Restoration is realized by faith in God and His Word and our declaration of that truth. "He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32). So when I start to think that God gives His all for us, even down to His only son, I have no choice but to persevere, and keep moving forward. Am I tempted to cave in and quit? Absolutely. I know that I could be on a plane tomorrow and off in a sunny location somewhere with a stunning model. But I have to decide whether my soul is worth forsaking God and what I know to be right.  Plus, I still have to set an example to my children of how to overcome trials and temptations. How to stand and overcome. That even through suffering you can depend on God and He will come through for you. If I bail, how can they ever believe this for their own lives and marriages?  I am breaking the generational curses of single-parenthood, and lust.  To do that...I must continue to stay married and faithful.

In the end, I think about the people in Japan and how they surely are going through even more than us...and I feel ashamed for even complaining. We are still eating, and have a roof over our head, however packed it is inside-at least its packed with people we love and trust. My things are in storage, but I at least HAVE them. God will bring the house eventually to put them in. I remember now that God has done miracles in our lives before. We have had lots of  money, and we have been really broke. We have been up, we have been down. We have lost disloyal friends and family, and we have gained loyal friends and family. So, this is once again just temporary, God says so in my spirit...and I have to believe Him. That still, quiet voice just keeps telling me to “press on.” ...And so I get up, wipe my tears, and take yet another step forward.     

I have just one request:

Keep me strong, Lord...so that I can keep doing Your will, and not my own.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong... that you must not quit.

-- Author Unknown

...The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
   may the name of the LORD (STILL) be praised.” --Job 1:21

FORGIVE...AND FORGET?!?!

~Find it hard to 'Forgive and Forget'? ~

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."-- Lewis B. Smedes.

I have heard people say often "I can forgive, but I CANT ever forget." And of course, no we cant erase memories, and/or re-write history...we cant pretend it never happened, nor ignore the pain it caused. But once we change the definition of forgiveness to understand that it does not mean that what the person did was 'okay'..but that it is for ourselves to be able to; 1) Move forward into our Purpose, (1 Pet 1:2-3)  2) get forgiveness for our own sins in return (Matt 6:14)  3) set aside and 'forget' the need to get revenge or retaliate against the person, and allow God to handle them (Rom 12:19)... forgiveness will then be easier to give...and receive.

Why should we do this? Sometimes it feels better to be angry at the person!  It gives us a sense of satisfaction, and entitlement to nuture hate for them in our heart.  But reseach has shown that bitterness and malice eventaully can manifest themselves into cancers and stress-related illnesses. In other words, your bitterness staarts to eat at YOU from this inside out! I read a great book about forgiveness recently. It was called "Total Forgiveness" By R.T. Kendall, and it talks about what forgiveness IS, and what it isnt, but I learned that forgiveness is more for the giver than for the receiver, and will allow you to move forward into the future without allowing it to affect the NEXT generation!!

But the real question is: are you really ready to let go?!?  

Just Passing Through....

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” --Isaiah 43:2

I think sometimes I feel more like Shedrack, Meshack and Abendigo than anyone I know!!  In the past ten years, I have experienced two house fires. Each time there was a painful loss, each time a
re-building process...each time, a sense of recovery. Each time, God was with us, and brought us through successfully.

A few days ago, On April 1st, my mothers home burned down as well. Fire number three. 

This one struck me particularly hard. Not only because mom was always classy and beautiful, but she collected beautiful expensive things, and cherished them, and kept them in great condition. Her home was always neat, pristine, and orderly. It was hard enough for me to accept her having the stroke that paralyzed her, but to know that she also lost all of her valued possessions that she worked so hard to keep nice.  As my dad dragged her out through the fire, she begged to be left in the house as it burned. That's how much she loved her home.That's a little over the top...but I cant say I dont understand her...

First she lost her bodily functions, her independance, her hair...now all the jewelry, beautiful clothes, attic full of decorations, family pictures and photo albums, videos, trinkets and china, tables and chairs, freshly painted basement walls, new roof installed that year, her hospital bed, walker, clothes, shoes, everything, she had collected for over 30+ years...Gone in a matter of hours. Now, I am praying that this next chapter will be the time of complete and total 'restoration'-like the leper who lost limbs, and through healing, even those were restored as new to his body!! 

I admit: This is painful for me as well, even as someone who knows that you shouldnt place a high value on possessions... because I felt that that her home was my home away from home, and a place I could retreat to in times of conflict, and/or desperation. I hate knowing that I lost what I considered a 'sanctuary'. As her only child, the house represented us. My kids and I were on every wall.

I have repeatedly been wondering what God is trying to teach me in all this. Why each time I finally feel a tiny bit secure...it seems I lose something else. Our cars, our homes, our business.  I am obviously being taught not to hold on to temporal, earthly things...and whenever I put too much value on any one thing, apart from Him...I lose it. He wants to be my sanctuary...my place of retreat and rest. Every other building I valued has turned to ash. Why he wants to teach me this lesson, I am not sure... I have seen other Chritians who have kept thier homes for years, cars. etc. But I am sure that He will reveal that too in His own time. I value every lesson as an opportunity for growth.

I praise God that my mom is alive, though, nothing can replace her life. Yes, I know that God keeps and covers her, but that doesn’t stop me from the feeling the excruciating sense of loss.

Yes, I KNOW they are just material things, but I grieve them just the same.  I grieve that as the kids get older, we cant show them the pictures from when they were tiny. We cant show them thier home videos where Gerald crawled for the first time, and I caught it on camera. The hand sewn blanket my beloved grandmother made for my mother when I was young, and sewed dozens of dollar bills on it as a gift. It was beautiful, and purple,...mom's favorite color. She still slept with it. 

I wanted to be able to show my grandkids the pictures of their great-great-grandfather, the one time I ever got to see him in Canada. Now, I can only discuss the memory of those things.  Some things, like family photos, cannot be replaced. You can make new and better memories, and take new photos..but I think there is something really special about capturing your good times on film, and showing them to your children, and childrens children later on. My 20 year old son's baby bed was even there. I would have loved to give it to him for his firstborn.

After my first housefire, I had a woman tell me 'You must not have faith, or be a true Christian, because you CRIED when your home burned down. You are supposed to walk in JOY" That is just weird 'spooky' Christianity..to smile after a fire? I dont think so....I think THAT would be unnatural!

I am human like everyone else. I suffer loss, I grieve. Jesus cried many times...even for Lazarus, whom he KNEW that he would raise from the dead! Loss has the power to move you whether you are a Christian or not.  Even when you KNOW the God is with you, and will restore. 

Each life experience is a lesson. I can truly say that I have been through many fires...and God has used them to purge, cleanse, strengthen, and make me loosen my hold on earthly treasures. 

(Um, Okay, Lord. I got it!! lol... No more, pretty please, no more loss...)

On the other hand: this could also be Satan's way of trying to derail me from my mission, and throw setbacks in our path...but I try not to ever give him too much credit.~ I just remember John 9:1-3: "As Jesus went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” said Jesus,

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,”“but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." Jesus healed that blind man, and God got all the glory. 

See..Many people automatically assume when you go through hardship that it is something you did wrong, or you must have 'deserved it'. This is ignorant, judgemental thinking. They even thought that way about Jesus as he was being nailed to the cross....not realizing that he was assuring thier very salvation!

So, Please pray with and for me...and dont judge me...because I may feel occassional sadness and need encouragement through the next few days or weeks. But God is still good, and I still know that He is with me...even throug the midst it all. I am believing that everything that is happening to us will all eventually lead to His Glory!!

I know and believe that...' all things work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.'

And I am no longer afraid of the fire....

  

Daniel 3:27: “...They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

 

Selah!

TRIALS...or TEMPTATIONS?!?!

Why do you think that just because you have God in your life that things will be easy?

John 16:33 says, "In this world you will have trouble...but take heart; I have overcome the world."

Notice that He did not say that we MIGHT have trouble in this world, but instead, He specifically says that we WILL have trouble. Yes, you will still ...go through trials and persecutions: It is guaranteed!! And PLEASE stop mis-quoting scripture by saying "God wont give us more than we can handle." That is not what the bible says!! 1 Cor 10:13-15 13~ 'No temptation has overtaken you except such as is COMMON to man (its nothing new); but God is faithful, who will not ALLOW YOU TO BE TEMPTED beyond what you are able, BUT with that temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.' So get it right: Yes you WILL go through things, you WILL be tempted and but God WILL make a way OUT...but the REAL question you need to honestly ask yourself is: do you really want to take the 'escape'...or are you enjoying the tempations, and everything that come with them? Hmmm...

God wants to remove all 'burdens' and 'yokes' from your life...but guess what I learned: many people dont want Him to!!! Yes, He'll free you...but some people are HAPPIER being enslaved!! He gives you an open door, but you wont walk through it. Then when life gets hard, you get mad & blame HIM.

...But when YOU CHOOSE to speed along a collision course, despite every Flashing Warning sign you see...Crashing is inevitable!

Do you build up...or tear down?!?!

"A wise woman (or girl) builds her house...but a foolish one tears hers down with her own hands."--Proverbs 14:1.

What type of future/legacy are you building for yourself and the generations after you? Are you being a wise woman and setting yourself and your family up for success--or are your decisions causing setbacks? Too many times I have seen women allow 'emotion' to dictate their next move.  Even young girls are refusing to decide early what type of career to pursue, and what type of partner would best help them achieve thier goals, and compliment thier purpose. They are more concerned about finding someone 'cute'. Honey, cute doesnt pay the bills in the long run!

We dont realize that they are the 'EZER KENEGDO' that God sent to man, to be translated the literal 'Lifesaver in times of desperate need, parrallel/face-to-face to meet his needs' -but that is instead loosely translated 'helpmeet'. If only we could comprehend that all of the decisions that we make have far reaching and long-term consequences, that will forever impact the future: we would stop being FOOLISH...and start thinking before we act!!!

What is YOUR Vision!?!

Someone once asked Helen Keller, what was worse than being born blind. Her response? "Having sight, but no Vision". The bible says "Without Vision, the people perish." Pro. 29:18~ So, What is your Vision? Do you see beyond the here and now? Start developing the Vision for your life...even a blind person can 'see' that its important!

Are you a KNOW-It-ALL?

"Be a student. Stay open and willing to learn from everyone and anyone. Being a student means you have room for new input. When you are green you grow, when you are ripe you rot. By staying green you will avoid the curse of being an expert. When you know in your heart that every single person you encounter in your lifetime has something to teach you, you are able to utilize their offerings in a profound way".
-- Dr Wayne W Dyer

Have you ever met someone who thinks they just know EVERYTHING?!! You cant tell them anything because they just have all the answers. Even when nobody is asking any questions.

I call these folks "Porcupines", because they have a lot of strong points, and nobody wants to be around them. They give advice when not asked, tell you how you should run your family, life, finances, and business, and they don't even have a successful life themselves. They talk about alot of nothing. I know a few of these people, and stay as far away from them as possible. Not that they arent really good people, and I'm sure they have the best intentions...but in order to be able to instruct others, you need to be a 'LIVING' testimony of the effects of your teachings. So live your life, and allow others to see the fruits. Then, when people ask you about how you are doing this or that, be ready to tell them with love, humility and guidance. You will reach more people this way, rather than a spirit of shame and manipulation. Even God doesn't try to to force His ways or methods on us. So before you run around giving people advice: try to ask yourself: is this working for me? Did they ask for this advice? and...will God be honored through what I am about to say? And before you are even in a position to lead, guide, and instruct others...get all the knowledge that you can on the subject. Read, learn, grow. Whether you are 18 or 80, you can always learn how to do things better than you do them.

So, if you find that people avoid your calls, never seem to want to be around you, and generally dont respond positively to your 'wisdom'..maybe it's not that they are 'haters'...sorry to tell you: maybe YOU are a porcupine!!  Moral  of this story?  Learn when to speak..and when to just be silent and listen!!

I say this in L-O-V-E!! ;)

Change your MIND!!

You seek too much information and not enough transformation."
-- Sai Baba. 

Have you noticed that when some people get ready to move out of the 'hood', they are initially excited about starting over and moving into a new nicer neighborhood, but soon after moving, they start to be overwhelmed with the upkeep, start to leave trash on the lawn, bring problem and issues, and their new home soon becomes like the ghetto they left? Its because they left the ghetto, but didn't leave the ghetto 'mentality' behind.

So many of us are worried about learning how to get to the 'next level' without growing as a person. Get rid of your inner garbage, otherwise when you get to the next level, you will CONTAMINATE IT with your old mindset~! You have to change from the inside out, otherwise when you get to where you are trying to go, you will lose it quickly. The caterpillar sees change as the end of the world: The Butterfly sees it as a new Beginning!! Which one are you?

Listen closely: 

God wont give you the house when you cant take care of the apartment, the Mercedes when you cant keep the Volkswagon clean, the millions when you dont even help others with the thousands...you have to start doing the right thing with what you have RIGHT NOW, in order for him to take you to the next level!! ~And it all starts with changing your way of thinking!! Clean out the old vessel so that God can fill you up with clean waters...overflowing!! Yes, you may have to LET GO of past friendships, relationships, attachments, and traditions....but that's what needs to happen to bring you to your place of purpose! God even caused the Israelites to wander in the wilderness for 40 years in order to wait until the old generation died, because they were to stubborn to change. And here you are, holding onto those people, places and things that God is trying to remove from your life!! ~Or are you too hard-headed to even see what God is trying to do?

“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth.... do you not perceive it?--Isaiah 43:18-19

 Remember~: thoughts become words become actions become habits become destiny!!

Change your thoughts...change your life!