I noticed on my schedule last week that they had me scheduled for a meeting on Sunday morning. I promptly went to my supervisor and let her know tht I would not be able to attend the meeting, and that it is already stated on my default that I cant work Sundays. She asked me why, and I explained. At that point nothing else was said.
Monday, then I came in, three managers pulled me aside and asked why I wasnt at the meeting.
I explained, and told them that this has always been the case. Normally meetings were held at night, so I had never missed one before. She asked me if I notified anyone, I told her, yes...and the supervisor confimed that I had. A half hour later, The head supervisor called me into her office. She said that I was being written up and that 'the thing is'...meeting were always mandatory. She said she likes church too. And its fine...but I need to think about my priorities. She told me point blank that sometimes I need to make sacrifices for what is most important to me. She said I could not miss anymore meetings, and would need to make arrangements for church. When I explained to her that I followed all prceedures, she said, that it didnt matter what I had to do. These meeting were Mandatory. At first, I was upset. I never missed a day of work, I never let family obligations get in the way of my performance. I was always a top-seller...the customers loved me.
I was also told that many other people missed the meeting, a well. This wasnt rocket science, we just sell Victoria Secret Panties. I know all the secrets. There arent many. I work part time, and make less money than my kids. The crazy part is: I owned a business for ten years, so it is humiliating enough having to do this...I hired people and paid them more than my supervisors make. I trained and coached workers. And here I was, working hard and even cleaning, vaccuming and mopping up the whole store late into the night. Mising my kids games, and events, like my father in laws wedding last weekend. I dont even make commission. And I could even deal with all that. But to be chastised, treated like a child, and admonished for my 'church stuff'... like its a simple past time...is what upset me to my core. The little money I made was barely enough to pay my phone bill and get me the toiletries that I needed, but it was something. And I did my best at it. I felt the question 'Why Me' started coming up in my head again.
As tears stung my eyes, I started to think about what they said to me...and then decided to look at it from a spiritual point of view. God didnt bring me way out here to Memphis to be a panty salesman. He has a Greater, higher calling for me and my family...what am I getting upset for. Sometimes, people and things are moved out of our lives for a reason, or our eyes are opened to things that we need to let go of. But we are so concerned about 'what's going to happen to us if we do' that we hold onto things that arent supposed to be there, sacrificing the things that are. I had been given many more hours at my job, but it was cutting into my time I needed to do my projects. I wasnt able to conduct my phone conferences when I needed to. I had to push back meetings for projects that I needed to work on. I had no free time in the day to work on my programs. And I still had scripts to write, and drama to lead. I was feeling pressured on all sides. But I dont want to let go of any income right now. Everything else I am doing right now is free. ~Lord!
Then a scripture comes to mind:
"O you of little faith?...So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the heathens run after all these things, and your heavenly Father KNOWS that you need them. But seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'-Matt 6:30-33
So I realized that what my supervisor said was absolutely TRUE. I did need to prioritize my life. I needed to sacrifice for the greater good, and what was more important to me.... Seek FIRST the Kingdom! I came to Tennessee to make a difference and change lives. I came to build a youth center, speak and motivate. I came to save a young girl or boy on the brink of giving up. I cant do that from behind a cash register!
...I walked back in that office, the next day, and submitted my two-week notice.
I'm once again stepping out on faith that God will provide my needs. We no longer have a car, all of our things are still in storage...but I have to trust that God is going to make a way!! Penny Hardaway wants to partner up with my LOL Organization. He says that this is the best program he has ever seen, and he asked ME if HE can be a part of it. he envisions a talk show, magazines, You tube, etc. I am working on the boys sports program, and the girls inner-beauty aspect.
God has been showing me that if I just stay patient, that it will all work out to His Glory, and our blessing.
Just continue, my friends, to keep myself and my family in your prayers. The attacks that we have endured lately have been unbelieveable, but not more than we can bear, of course.
I have been learning that a huge sign of maturity is the ability to look at the end result, not what it looks like now. That is hard for me..so God says to look at it this way:
If I decided to bake a cake, I may envision in my head of what that cake is going to look like when it is still in the box. If I take all the ingredients and mix them together, then if I suddenly get mad because its not looking like the picture on the box, and throw it away, then not only have I acted immaturely, but I have acted impatiently. It was not finished. There were more steps to follow, in order to achieve the desired result. The cake still had to be baked at a high temperature, which would then cause it would start to rise...and become what I had intended. Afterwards, I would have to let it cool, and add the frosting and decorations, and Bam! It's beautiful just like my vision.
Right now, I have all the ingredients mixed together, its in the pan, we are in the oven, and the Heat Is UP! I have to just stay there for a while...withstand the hot temperature, resist the urge to jump out too soon...and I know that I know....I will RISE!!!!~and my 'Master Chef' (God) will decorate me to a thing of beauty compared to no other, and I will bless all who 'taste' of the end result!!
Now, Who wants a slice? lol ;)
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