MOPSS: Pro-Choice AND Christian?!?! HUH?

A woman on Facebook recently posted that she was Christian AND Pro-Choice. No offense...I just dont believe that it's possible to 100 % believe in following God's word AND taking the life of a baby. I'm no fanatic. But it contradicts itself. Somewhere you are on the 'fence'.  Now, I used to feel the same way, that abortion was the 'choice' of the woman...but I no longer do, since getting saved.
I saw on Facebook that if you are pro-life, then on your taxes you should be required to give a 1% additional tax to support poor women. Also, it was said that pro-lifers are 'Hypocrites' who don't help the women or babies AFTER they are actually born, so why are they so concerned?  Interesting question.

Well, since its MY blog, and I have some time on my hands. For once and for all: I want to tackle and answer all of these questions. 

Disclaimer: In no way am I knocking anyone's choice. If you have had an abortion, its just the same as any other sin, forgivable and something we must turn away from. But in order to understand it, we need to have the correct information.

So I need to break it down, in order to more fully help others to understand the 'Pro-Life' position: (if you dont want to hear it, exit this post now!! Or else...fasten your seatbelts!)

I was at an abortion clinic at age 18-had one baby, pregnant with my second- and making an appointment. Laughing at the people who said they could love and help me. On the day of my scheduled appt, my boyfriend Gerald got called away to help a friend move, last minute. And after I rescheduled. I called the Crisis Pregnancy Center" and asked them "You say you can help...PROVE IT!" Within a week I was moved out of the home I was in and placed with a loving family who took care of me, helped me, ministered to me, showed me love that I had never seen, modeled Christian living, took me to church, fed me and my son lil Gerald, prayed for me, laughed with me, answered my million questions about God, taught me parenting, took me to the Doctor, rejoiced with me as I got saved and baptized in the ocean, held my hands as I delivered my daughter Ashley Nicole Williams, helped name her, and then two weeks later held my hands as I walked down the aisle to marry thier dad, and gave me away.... Things my own family didn't do for me.
(*read more about this in my book "Choosing the Road Less Traveled:Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose: www.mpowermentww.org)

Fast forward years later. I volunteered at a pregnancy center, became a mentor, and my first client was in my situation. I told her the same thing. Helped her get housing, a job, and baby items, and medical care. A year later she brought her baby in crying, and presented him to me. She tearfully told me that if it wasnt for me, he wouldnt be here.

If it wasnt for the Pro-Life people, Ashley (and possibly the rest of my children) would not be here. I am my mothers only living child. she aborted the rest. I was born in 1973, the year abortion became legal.  All of the lives I have touched, and Ashley has touched is case enough against abortion in itself.

But people always assume that Pregancy Centers and Pro-lifers are not out there helping folks; that instead they are just hanging outside abortion clinics holding "dont kill your baby" signs. Quite the contrary. Eventually, because of my volunteer work, I was able to get into the public schools and speak to the youth about abstinence, because God told me that if they are not sleeping around, abortion wouldnt even be an issue.

...Long story short: these pro-life 'hypocrites' changed my LIFE, showed me God- and I would not be ME without them.

If they asked me, I would give more than 1% taxes. I have given my LIFE in exchange for those who are less fortunate, and housed and cared for many teens whose parents couldnt all the time. Why? Because of what was done for me by these organizations.
Crisis Pregnancy Centers and Volunteers help with: clothing, medical care, food, housing, job searches, counselling, pre-marital workshops. Post abortion counseling if you decide to terminate, because the long term suffering last years sometimes. We also offer help getting into school, etc. After all: if it is a true CHOICE..why not give every option? We not only show all options, but help a girl to know that abortion isnt her only way out.

Q: But what about the Bombers? Who kill abortion doctors? What about those who support the Death Penalty?

The bombers are the exception, not the rule. A TRUE Pro-lifer believes all life is precious, and made by God. Even the life of those in sin, such as abortion doctors. That is the same as saying all Muslims are suicide bombers. You cant discount the lot on account of the actions of a crazy few. Prayer for the doctors is vital...and like I said, getting to the root: abstinence will eliminate the need for abortion. Most Pro-life advocates dont believe in the death penalty either....but there are hypocrites every where you go, including in the church. There are actually people who say they are devout Christians, and go home sleeping with people, etc. Those outside the church would say that these people are hypocrites. There are hypocrites in every religion, in every job, in every way of life. But hypocrites deserve mercy and prayer as well. We cant discount the actions of the entire pro-life community based off a few mis-led ones.

And a real hypocrite would be someone who says that you should abort only in some cases, not in others. Either it is a child, made by God, or its not. Either its a living being or its not. and if it is nothing more than a mass of tissue, then why dont folks want to see pictures of them cut up and out and in the trash? I dont mind seeing a piece of tissue in the trash.
... If this pic bothers you, and you are Pro-choice- you have got to ask yourself WHY?

A few unspoken facts:

#1 Pro-Lifers still believe in Contraception: But birth control is not disease control, so if you are looking at it at the standpoint of saving a life, you will be misled. More women are dying of cervical cancer right now than AIDS, and this due to sexual activity. My husband and I used not only condoms(which I was using when I go pregnant with Ashley too, but i used Birth control pills at times, and now my tubes are tied. I believe in birth control between a married couple hoping not to conceive. More young teens to date have died from consequences of sexual activity (protected and unprotected) than the sum total of all illegal abortions in history.

#2- Some people use abortion as a form of birth control. As I said, my mother and father have used it repeatedly. To date: many women have died of LEGAL abortion-performed since 1973. The fact that a mother and child dies in illegal abortions is not a case for abortion. I have seen young women rendered infertile for life, due to complications from legal abortions. I have seen babies born alive, and killed with scissors due to legal abortions. I have seen women die from bleeding out caused by legal abortions, and the doctor list the cause of death as 'hemorrage' in order so that it is not traced back to abortion. This is hidden knowledge in the medical community. Safe, legal abortion is a myth. There is complications in all surgeries of any kind. It's just not talked about: neither is the fact that condoms have shown NO proven protection against Herpes and HPV, which is the killer that I mentioned above. These are lies and myths perpetuated by the media to make people feel 'safe' about thier choices.

#3-Abortion helps women? The real issue is money. Abortion is a multi-million dollar industry. When a women goes to get an abortion, the 'Choices' are not discussed. She is not allowed to even see the ultrasound, of the live, kicking baby inside of her. She is not told that the baby can smile, cry, and feel pain inside of her. she is not asked to consider all options before making her choice. she is asked to sign a release and asked for her money. She is asked to have someone to bring her home afterwards. She is not followed up with, to make sure she is okay, and her mental health is not considered, as to her needing follow-up counseling. We Pro-lifers are the ones they come to for all that. 20 years later when they still have nightmares about dead children, and are finding it hard to deal with being around babies. But if its a CHOICE, why isnt the abortion center offering and informing women about all of the same options: housing, employment, etc. Do THEY truly care about the women? Here's a test: If the woman decides to keep her baby, will THEY help her out? If not, why not, If they support her choice as well? After the abortion, will they follow up, provide counselling, stay with you for years afterwards? Because the Crisis Pregnancy center will. And thats where these women later come for help dealing with thier emotional pain.

Q: Shouldnt we have freedom of Choice over what happens to our own body!! Aren't Pro-lifers trying to take that away?

Pro-Choice is a play on words, also used as a strategy. Its a fake concept.They say its your body: but you dont have the right to stand on top of a building and prepare to jump. You dont have the right to hold a gun to your head, run into traffic, or shoot heroin in your own arm any time you get ready. If its your body, why is prostitution illegal? You dont have the right to take your whole paycheck and keep it without paying taxes. You dont even have the right to own anything without the Government giving the go-ahead. You cant even take medicine to get healed if they dont approve of it. So to talk about having someone else's beliefs FORCED upon you...is what the Government is doing, not Pro-Lifers. No one says that about the "Just say No" drinking and alcohol program. They dont say that those people are forcing thier beliefs on anyone else.
The words 'Complete freedom of choice' is only used pertaining to abortion. Then we are told we should have "choices" and 'Freedom over our bodies". Sister, its all lies.

...The enemy is the Father of all lies.

And up until now, I havent made this post religious at all. But because I am a Christian as well, I will add that component. If you are a Born-Again, believing Christian (and Im not speaking to any unbelievers/lukewarm here), then you have decidedly given your life to Jesus Christ, and agreed to allow God to be the head of your life, and follow His ways and Commandments, right?. Thou shall not kill is one of them.

Q. Yes, but nobody is PERFECT! There are hypocrites everywhere.

Yes, we all fall short of being 'perfect' but some sins are intentional and heinous. And we are commissioned to go out and preach that gospel in all the world (Mark 16:15) and that gospel says that we need to repent, and get saved, as well as follow His commandments. If we dont tell people these things, then we are hypocrites. A hypocrite is someone who professes to believe one thing, and does another. Like if I say Im a Christian, and I hop into bed with every man I am attracted to.

If someone kills a two year old, we scream for "justice", we want that man taken to jail, and his rights taken away. We cry for the mother, and the family, and the life that will never grow up. But if a Pro-lifer were to cry for that same child two years earlier, he/she is a 'fanatic' and 'crazy'. See, we pray to God for 'Justice' for those we feel are guilty, but 'Mercy' for ourselves. Interesting how that works. But living in the real world, we have got to know that we cant run around violating Gods commandments and laws and expect to get off scotch free. But the person who is begging someone from the side of the road to get out of traffic is considered 'Anti-choice" when it comes to abortion. No, we simply want to save lives. The life of the baby, the life of the mother (spiritual, mental and physical) and society from becoming another Sodom and Gomorrah who hardens thier hearts to what sin truly is... to the point to where they dont even realize when they are doing it.

...And back to the original post: yes, we should all pay a surcharge to help those involved in Crisis Pregnancies...why not? But many of us already pay additional taxes to welfare, etc. which in many ways helps these women anyway. Most of the women who have abortions are not POOR unwed women, as we think. Check the statistics out as to who is having the abortions. It would surprise you.  I was not on welfare, at all. We got married, and took care of ourselves and our family.
Q. Pro-lifers need to mind thier own business...I have to live with the consequences of my choices, not them!

I think we all feel that way about our past decisions. However, God instructs us as Christians to go out and minister, save the lost, help the hurting, and warn the sinful. We cant do that with our mouth shut, nor by'minding our own business' although many of us would LOVE to. Shoot...Trust me, sometimes ministry to others is agonizing, and you really dont WANT to deal with people. Especially teens. You want to close yourself away from others, and say "All of yall can go to HELL! That's where you seem to want to go anyway" lol. and if that attitude would have happened in my own life, I would not have 3/4 of my kids, nor would I be here today.

I have heard so many teens say "Well, what I am doing is not hurting anyone but me, I have to learn from my own mistakes. Between me and God." I have heard drug addicts say this, alcoholics, even porn addicts...But if we are truly loving those teens, we dont just turn a blind eye, not give advice, not give information, and fail to tell them right from wrong. We do it out of love and concern.
If I didnt see the 'fallout' from abortion, I wouldn't care who did it. But when I see a young girl living in guilt and misery, who has scarred tubes, and eventually takes pills to get her mind off of it, and lives a tormented life, failed relationships, and anger, and then comes to ME for counselling years later, and we find out all this was contributed to her having an abortion 10 years earlier, then I have a duty, and an obligation to try to help the next girl from having to go through it.

Q: Yes, but God will forgive my sins, Its all in the past.

Yes, absolutely, God definitely forgives all our sins...but there is a consequence to each of them. He even says, 'Do not be deceived" about that. He says in his word that our sins will affect 'generations.' not just us...He also says when we repent, "sin no more" and be transformed over into his way of thinking-which is biblical. He wont abandon us, but will stand by us as we suffer for all of our choices. And he will grieve that suffering.

Q: What about rape and incest?

Statistically, rape and incest is the issue in less than 1% of all abortions, and was the central arguement in the court case that caused abortion to become legal in 1973. However, the woman who was the central instrumental witness in this case, Norma McCorvey, now admits that not only did she LIE about being raped, but that Planned Parenthood instructed her to lie in order to win the case. It was all built on deception. And besides, what if we all had to die based on the sins of our own fathers? Why pile hurt on top of hurt? fyi: There are 8 couples waiting in line for every healthy baby put up for adoption. My closest friend is a result of rape, and she thanks God every day that she was given life. She now has 5 children and two grandchilren of her own.

Q: What about Free Will?

In a funny way, God is Pro-Choice. He says in Deuteronomy 30:19 "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.... Therefore CHOOSE LIFE, that you and your offspring may live." He gives us Free Will to choose. He tells us what to choose-- and what will happen when we choose. And yet, after all that, he STILL had to send all those prophets -and Jesus- to keep warning folks and turning them away from sinning. All of them were told to go away and mind their business.
No one, including those prophets, and Jesus is trying to 'take away' anyone's free will. What we as Christians are doing is trying to warn, minister, and give information (as we are commissioned to do) to tell the world about Him and His will. It is our job: our 'Orders' from our General on High. I have to answer to Him if i turn a blind eye to wrongs. Of course, my first job is always to check my own wrongs, and look my own self in the mirror, and make sure that I clean out my own closet, and work on my own stuff as well. Thats not easy either.

Very painful, and humbling. But I do it often. I always ask God to show me plainly where my views, and beliefs contradict His, and ask him to change MY way of thinking. Because His wont change, and as Christians we are told to line ourselves up with our leader

...and Im not talking about Obama...lol

MOPSS: The Man in the Mirror?

Interesting how we judge the 'Actions' of others, but expect others to see our "Intentions'..We demand "Justice" from God for folks who have done wrong things, but ask God for "Mercy" for ourselves...We quickly accept God's Unconditional forgiveness for ourselves, but withold it from others. ~Imagine what would happen if we all picked up a mirror, and judged OURSELVES as harshly as the way we judge everyone else?



I admit, I have done it. Looked at someone in the process of wrongdoing, and asked myself (and everyone else who'd listen) "How could he/she do this?!" Stick my nose in the air in disgust, and turn and walk away, feeling better about myself, my choices, and my actions. I could have the comfort of thinking: Well, yes, I do ----, but at least I dont do THAT!" and give myself an imaginary pat on the back, and congrats for staying 'moral'...and God knows that just the sins that are hidden in my heart would cause everyone I know to run from me in an instant.  
And so, I just must repent! For even thinking that I am on another, nicer 'sin-scale' than the next man. We have ALL fallen short! so the Mercy that I beg God for myself, shoudn't I also plead on the behalf of others? 


...Humbling indeed.

MOPSS: DO I HAVE TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER TO GET RESPECT?

I often hear songs about "Single Mothers". Sons who thank their "Single Mothers" at awards shows, and all types of "Single Mother' Empowerment Programs.
Admittedly...Sometimes it irritates me. 
I had a single mother...I didnt see any married women as a child. And honestly, growing up and watching her and her many single girlfriends; it is my opinion that she was single because 1) she left my dad at the alter 2) she made horrible choices with men-usually drawn to unavailable or violent men, and  3) she wanted to party and not be tied down.
...should I celebrate this?
Yes, it was harder for her. But only because she CHOSE that path.
*ouch*

Yes, Granted. there are single moms out there who may chose the best partner ever, and he may have died or left them abandoned, but that is rarely the case, Its more the exception. More often than not, a woman ends up becoming a single mother because she is attracted to a man by lust, wants a 'bad boy" type, or is with someone she thinks she can force to be with her, or because she gets pregnant doing things with someone that she KNEW shouldnt have been even dating, and hopes she can change.
Neither of those things ever work to her advantage...most backfire on her, and she is left holding the bag...and the baby.
Then she oftentimes runs around hollering about how all men are dogs, and untrustworthy, and in reality, the ones that she chose to trust and give herself to were the worst of the worst. Think about it: When you MET him, he lived with his parents, was disrespectful, couldnt keep a job, hated education, had a prison record, had two or three babies mommas, and slept with you the first night you met him...
Oh, But he had good hair.
Superficial reasons drew you to him. And when he became his TRUE SELF you were suprised. The same person "momma and them" said wasnt right for you, but you didn't want to listen. The same person your friends warned you about. And now two kids and thousands in debt later, he is off having a baby with someone else, and you are bitter, and out buying your "Single-Mom's empowerment album" and matching t-shirt.

Let's just get real. I am a married mom, and dont have any songs dedicated to me...but for the past 20 years, I have had to support not only a family, but a man too.  I have to encourage him, and be there for him, through thick and thin: regardless of his, or my crazy mistakes. I have to find ways to compromise, and work in agreement. I have to work diligently to make it work, when we have such different personalities. I have to always consider myself as part of a team. That's hard.  And honestly, in the end, alot of times in marriage, HE gets the credit when things are going well and you are living the American Dream.
A wife rarely get the accolades, because people assumed you had 'help'. They assume you just sat back and got 'taken care of'....Ate bon-bons and watched soap operas continuously. Now, I do enjoy One Life to Live...But it is largely overlooked that as a wife you are the backbone of a success story..you motivated, encouraged, devised plans and strategies to ensure the group success. You stayed up long hours writing HIS plans, and creating HIS vision and dreams before your own. you sacrificed your wants and needs for the betterment of the unit as a whole, for the end result, breaking Generational curses. You prayed over him and your children, and endured the humiliation of hearing "Oh, she's just a mom." You attended all the PTA meetings, and volunteered to read to the class, and were there when the kids got home with their tales of how 'awful' school was that day.
In athletic sports, when there is a winning team, the coach gets credit...doesn't he?

I wasn't in the clubs, or on vacation laying up in a different mans arms from year to year, while my kids had to figure out how to make their own way. Would I have liked to experience the world, other men... freedom? YES! But I had to lay down my SELF in order to plant better seeds than the Generations before me. And the result is kids who love God, respect family, and are looking at Marriage for themselves. And because we are so rarely acknowledged, many women don't see the benefit and reward in staying in Marriages. The benefits are not immediate and as gratifying in the short-term. And now we are becoming a rare breed.

And why arent there any banners and t-shirts for us? ~Married Mothers?  Well, Im going to make my own line of t-shirts. 
"Proverbs 31 Woman:  Not an Independent Woman, but a Woman you could Depend on." 
...how does that sound? 

Here's a little poem I wrote, called  
"Where is She?"

What has become of the Proverbs Woman?
The wife, the mother?
The helper, the keeper?
The backbone of families?
Oh, how we still need her!

Where are the women
Who mended, and tended
Who cooked, and baked daily
(the food never ended)
Brought family together
For packed Sunday dinners
With aunts, sisters, and cousins
Around to assist her

She fed us until our bellies ached
With homemade cookies
And pies and cakes
Bring back Betty Crocker
(oh, man how we ate)
could make a SPAM taste just like sirloin steak!
Where is she now?

Where's the Original Superwoman?
Where's she gone? We need to know
She used to make our house a home
She could budget her pennies
Keep us all in style
Make a dollar last a month
And stretch a mile
And we never even knew about her trials
'Cuz she hid her tears behind her smiles
And during the day
Whether sun or rain
She sent us to go outside and PLAY
(and we'd obey, without delay)
Where are these real ladies hiding today?
Are they gone away?


Where have the Virtuous women gone?
They demanded respect of every one
Didn't sleep till all the work was done
And her husband was proud to call her The One
And when we cried,
She dried our eyes
She bandaged cut knees and scraped up thighs.
Where is she now?
This woman today?
With just ONE LOOK
We knew our place.
She walked in beauty, style and grace
Even with no make up on her face.

She fed the hungry
Helped the sick
If you cross her, though, go and get the switch!
Where has she gone? We need her home!
Without her, we feel so alone.

Where are the true mothers?
The ones who's arms
Could protect us from danger,
and keep us from harm?
She helped us with homework,
Defended our fights,
When things were all wrong
She helped make it right.
Where is she now?

When the men were away
She kept families together
On her knees she would pray
(Whenever, wherever)
And when things would get tough
She would sing songs of praise
To the Good Lord above
And her warm smile would help us
To get through the bad days.
And her hugs and her kisses
Healed like sun's shining rays

Why is she missing in this day and age?


And what happened to Grandmas we used to know?
They knew when to love, to hug, and to scold
They carried wisdom of generations of old
When they talked, we listened
Knowledge worth more than gold
But today all our grandmas
Are 30 years old

Where's a REAL woman at?
She's so needed, we say!
In these times of 'little girls'
Playing dress up today
They pretend to be women
But can't handle the stress
They don't cook, they don't clean,
And their lives are a mess
They cave in and quit
When the going gets tough
When they have a good man
They say "he's not enough"
They search for the 'bling'
They desire a 'thug'
They toss aside good guys
Yet they wonder, "Where's love?"


Their houses are dirty
Their kids running wild
And you'll find them
In the club- minidress, weave, and smile
"Droppin it like it's hot"
While their kids feel the burn
Bringing home every man who desires a turn
Thinking always tonight that she's found a real 'winner'
While her kids eat cereal, and T.V. Dinner


For her KIDS... B.E.T is Mommy and Dad
They are looking for love, so they follow a fad
They eat fast food, and never a homemade pie,
They play on the WEB instead of outside
They take Ritalin, and anti-depressants to cope
And when they are lonely, they drink and they smoke
No one brings them to church, no one prays for their souls,
They experiment with danger, and lust takes control
We can't be surprised when they kill and they die
In a world where a granny is just 35.


So, where are the real women?
The strong, and proud Queens
Will you come out of hiding
Show them all who you be
Your husbands and children need you to see
That you are the lifeline- the root of the tree
When will you open your eyes and see
That you are the pillar of the community?
Without you we crumble, we stumble as blind
The darkness takes over while you run and hide

A good woman is like rubies,
As rare as a pearl

Has she now been replaced by the VIDEO GIRL?


MW

FINDING PURPOSE!?!

I have been feeling as if God has been saying to me, "It's Time'

And then, I think to myself, "I need to be doing something!" and then...the next thought is ALL of these things I am good at and can do well (because normally purpose is tied up in those things), but THEN I get overwhelmed with the thought of doing them ALL, and I just lay down and watch TV.
Or get on Facebook. I will post great quotes and comments, and get appreciative responses, and folks telling me that I am making a difference in thier lives, etc. But shouldn't MY life be different too? I don't just want to talk about it...I need to BE about it! Don't we all feel that way at times?

Back up...Dont get me wrong: there are alot of things that I HAVE done...I have done Volunteer Work for 8 years at the Hope Pregnancy Center. I have done tons of speaking engagements. I have led womens ministries and bookclubs. I even started a business: ARMOR Security Agency in 2000, and at times, our income was almost 1 million dollars. We vacationed hard, spent lavishly. Lived good. We have housed/helped (and yes I counted) housed 22 family members. I have raised 6 kids (still raising 3 of them), and tried (sometimes failing) to set an example for them. All of these things were good and 'noble' to me at the time. Nothing is more rewarding than having a young girl walk into a Pregnancy Center with her baby and tell you that because of what YOU said to her, this baby is alive and she is grateful to tears. Or watching a family member get saved and get married because of advice and wisdom you have poured into them...these things are wonderful, indeed.
But even through all of these things, a sense of un-fulfillment still gnaws away at my soul. I know there is something ELSE that I am supposed to be doing. And God hasnt shown me clearly what it is. But I KNOW it's tied up to my past: my roots. You have been where you were, to be able to change some one else. So...let's go back:

Awww...wasnt I cute? I was an only child. Very lonely! Mom was working full time, and a partyer. Very beautiful and successful, she reminded me of Erica Kane. Hung out with rich, elite blacks, lived elegant lifestyle, vacationed, had lots of friends, and was a social butterfly.  She had three club nights per week, and owned her own home by 24 years old.

Aint she gorgeous? :)
Things were going really well for her; there was one minor annoyance, one thing holding her back...Me.
She met my dad in High School, when both had run away from home. He was handsome, and an athlete: was abused by a dad who gambled away even the family dog. Made them eat oatmeal every day, for lack of food, and he traded clothes with his brother every other day, so no one would notice they wore the same clothes daily. He and my mom were instantly attracted to eachother. Mom worked in fast food, dad played football. He was her first. I believe it was love (or lust) at first sight (although Mom will never admit to it-never)

And they got a house together as teens, and had little old me.
From what they say: they lived good. Had a car, and a pool table. All the family looked up to them. But they fought. Mom was a fighter. Dad couldn't talk to anyone else, and laugh or she would become outraged. It only lasted for another year. Dad was packing up the Volkswagon to head to Vegas to get married. Mom took off with me. Dad said she cheated. Mom says she wasn't ready for "family". Both were hurt...and I dont believe my father ever quite recovered from this. Every other woman afterwards, he cheated on, and disrespected. Once a man loses his first love, he doesnt care much about the rest.

So, by age 2, I was in a single parent home, and dad went on to have other kids. But would visit often.

I remember even this day vividly. My memory is really good for everything about age 5 on. Dad rolled up in a huge white Cadillac at my Kindergarten graduation with about 100 albums in the backseat for me. Everything from Shirley Temple to Rick James. And I played them all repeatedly for years. That was a good day.  One year after this picture was taken, mom moved me to Riverside, and started working for Xerox, where she would remain until retirement. They paid well, and she was very busy after that. I was what you would call a 'latchkey kid', getting up and going to school alone, coming home alone. She would leave money on the table for McDonalds, and at 6 years old, I was riding my bike there, geting my food, come home, eat, do homework and bed. I had severe asthma, and at times when I had an attack, sometimes the neighbor would accompany me to the hospital. Once I even stayed at a nurses house, because they couldnt reach my mom by phone. She came about 1 am.
These lonely times developed a love of reading, writing and my imagination. I pretended to always be somewhere else, with a huge family, and happy. I made up people, places names, and role-played all day and night. If you would have walked in on me, you would think I was a crazy kid talking to herself, but I was living in a fun world. I think thats what happens to people in solitary confinement eventually. They do this to stay sane.

anyhow. Dad became a pimp and started selling drugs, and running the streets. Mom got in abusive relationships that many times I witnessed. Both were young, and foolish, but I learned alot, and God kept his Hands on me. There were several times that I was nearly molested, and God removed me entirely. Neither of my parents were Christians. Neither ever talked about God or took me to church. but i just FELT He existed, and I felt a deep need to know Him. I had a bible given to us by some visiting Jehovah Witnesses, and I read it over and over for years. I wanted to be like those women I read about. With husbands and family. My mom often had someone else's husband. I wanted my own.


I rotated between homes; mom, dad, aunt, for years. Every one of them had craziness going on. I felt lost. My Gandmother was my one solid... But she died when I was 13.  I will talk about her later.
I made a pact, at 12 that if God gave me a husband and family, (and I was specific-I named the sex and birth order of my kids in advance) that I would raise them to serve Him.
And, it happened. Now its up to me to live up to my end of the bargain.
So how do you Overcome two damaged parents, and learn to be a 'June Cleaver' type? When you have never seen appropriate role models displayed in your own life? When all the women were violent, and promiscuous, and when the men used women and drugs for recreation?
Good question....

BACK TO PRESENT:

In order to figure out my Purpose, I decided to sit down and write a list of what I have done as an adult, and the ministries I have started/participated in. I figured this would help me out. Here's the list (in no particular order):

1) Teen Pregnancy- seeing that I had 3 kids by age 19, and I had been a mentor later at a CPC.
2) Abstinence- For the past 6 years, I have been an abstinence speaker in the public schools, to teach others how to not make the same decisions that I did, and that I have seen countless others make.
3) Shelter Home- Putting together a program to house teen pregnant girls: like I was housed at 18. it changed my life and got me saved. I was calling my Program 'The Dwelling Place"
4) Marriage-Seeing that I got married at 18 (and am still married today) and have taught 13 week Married for Life classes to other struggling couples.
5) Business Start up and Management- at one time, I oversaw a staff of 32 employees at ARMOR Security Agency. I even designed our webpages, and drew up our Business Plans. Not bad for someone who taught themselves how to use a computer.
6) Women's Ministry- I started L.O.V.E (Ladies of Virtuous Excellence) Ministries, a study to teach older women how to minister to younger women. I have done Women's Christian Bookclubs, etc.
7) Play/Script writing- I have written books, plays and led Drama Teams.
8) Teen Empowerment- Teaching young people life skills lacking in thier own lives, and how to make better choices for thier futures. (esp. Urban youth)
9)  Motivational Speaking- I have spoken at events, schools, churches, etc. 
10) Talk show for teens-my eventual goal.

I feel as if I am being pulled in all these different directions, to accomplish all of these things...and at the same time, raise my family, and deal with the day-to-day survival.
Ever since ARMOR folded: (and I will admit it was very much my fault) we have struggled to make ends meet.  I refused to go out and get us more accounts, and grow the company because I felt like my husband was treating me as a 'worker' and not a partner. Long story. But in the end: I no longer wanted to do business with him, and wanted to work for myself. I took my hands completely off. I figured that if he was as much "the man" as he (and others) made himself out to be, that he could do it without me, right?

Well, although he has learned his lesson, we all had to suffer for my stubbornness, and desire to show him that I could 'do my own thing'. Because, in order to do 'my thing' I still need money...ughh!

So now that God is saying 'It's Time' to do some things, and my family has been uprooted and misplaced, and my pockets and bank accounts are emptied, and mom had a brain aneurysm, and as her only child I had to care for her for two years, and still wanting to do ministry, but not having time to write after now working at a minimum-wage job...I'm mentally exhausted.... And I'm asking him for the Provision, but from what I can see, we are not getting out of this any time soon.  So as I focus on all of the ways to live out my Purpose, I'm thinking silently...How can I help others, when I cant even help Myself?!?

MOPSS: What are YOU raising?!?

I see these You Tube Video's that display kids cursing and dancing suggestively, with the adults standing around..not only recording, but laughing and egging them on. What are they THINKING?!? Dont they realize that in 10 years, these are going to be the same people complaining that their kids are out of control, and they will be throwing them in juvenile detention centers, or dragging them to abortion clinics. When are we going to realize that the seeds that we plant in these children's lives eventually GROW into roots, and trees, and branches that bear FRUIT!
By raising disrespectful, spoiled, rebellious kids, you will be heaping problems upon yourself and society later!  It's not CUTE, in any way shape or form. And they are doing it younger and younger...
When do you draw the LINE!!?!

The child you are directing to 'shake their hips' now, to win a pageant, is the same child who will be shaking other things on stage for money, naked, in clear heels. You are showing them that they should do anything for attention, recognition, and the Grand Prize: the Almighty Dollar.  Don't think its just a harmless, innocent past time. I didnt even allow my kids to 'Booty Dance' at the family reunions. Everyone thought I was being overly strict. But now..all those rump-shaking girls in the family are pregnant, and very sexually active. My daughters at 17 and 18 are still virgins, and advocates for abstinence. Was it a tough battle? Yes, I was fighting against public opinion, Media, Movies, and family members that attempted to contradict every message I tried to instill in my children. But once I learned that parents are a childs greatest influence, and God says to 'Train them up in the way that they SHOULD go."-not the way that they 'WANT to go"... I worried less.  As long as I did my job, and didn't get discouraged or lazy, yes they may stumble, fall and do wrong now and again, but they will always return to what was planted within them early on. It's a promise.

You should Raise your children up, not the other way around!!

Grown ups..it's time to GROW UP!

SIMPLY ME...

I'm not a Supermodel

nor a Covergirl

I'm simply a woman

with a big heart...

that dreams of changing the world

I may not be a Movie Star

nor be a Beauty Queen

But I have a longing to be heard

a Destiny Unseen...

I'm not the 'Perfect Woman'

don't do everything 'just right'

I have huge flaws and deep regrets

that haunt me in the night

I may never travel 'round the world

may never write a book

but great visions lie within my heart

if only you'll take a look

I may not hear the roar of crowds

that scream and chant my name

may never own a home in France

or achieve tremendous fame

The measure of my life's success

is not how many car's I've acquired

It's not how much cash that I've attained

Or how much I'm admired

It's the amount of live's I've touched

and soul's I've helped to guide,

the love I've shown to those in need

the way I've lived my life...

See...I've never posed for magazines

or dined with Kings and Queens

Yet, adundance reflects within my smile

The Greatness that is...

ME

2009

Happy 2011!!

Ah, well... I'm still here!

And knowing that God has seen me fit to continue on in 2011, it's obvious that He has a purpose and a Mission for my life! I am finally starting to realize that this thing called 'Life' is bigger than me, and I just need to get out and make it happen. I joined New Directions Christian Church, and was immediately placed in Teen Drama Ministry--could that be due to the fact that I am animated and dramatic in life? :)
It was surprising, but not totally unexpected. It seems God keeps bringing me back to Drama...lol...Despite how I fight it! (I was placed over Drama in World Changers in Atlanta as well.)
To date; I have written several scripts, am working on organizing MERGE Womens Group, and have resolved to write my story, and do speaking engagements this year, even beyond teaching abstinence. I founded Light of Life (LOL) Youth Empowerment Org. with a shady partner/pastor who shall remain nameless (more on that later)... and we uprooted our entire family from Atlanta to Memphis, TN!

These are all pretty big (and scary) moves, but Im up for the challenge.
Honestly at this point in my life, I feel that I need to make money for my talents and gifts!  Everything I have done has been volunteer-based. It cant be selfish to want to earn money can it? I decided that a few weeks ago when I'm standing outside my daughters cheerleading game crying because I cant afford a $7.00 ticket to get in. I have run out of gas twice this month. My bank accounts are overdrawn. My phone is off. It's time to turn things around. Something has got to give, right?  

MOPSS: The problem with working in ministry sometimes, is that they want you to utilize every gift in you, take them to another level, work in promptness and Excellence, and walk away with a pat on the head, and a reminder to 'stay humble'. Hey, I'm all for giving all I have to God, but I don't think he desires for His people to be broke and struggling. I believe that he uses the gifts and talents within us to make a difference, and at the same time, thats where your blessings lie. Including financial ones. But some ministries take advantage of the loyalty and hard work of the people that volunteer, and become Holy "slavedrivers', laying guilt-trips on them when they dont lay aside everything for the 'Vision', and it ends up causing severe burn-out, rebellion, and leaving the ministry out of hurt, bitterness, and a feeling of lack of appreciation. If I have seen it once, I have seen it a thousand times. That is not God. Leaders need to learn to get right down in there in the trenches with those they lead, and be respectful of the time and talent (and family situations) of others. Being a Leader, you are supposed to be even more of a servant than the volunteers. Isn't that what Jesus Modeled?

God has also placed in my heart to start teaching people how to Overcome their pasts, to move towards their future, without passing n the serious issues to their children. I have been there. I have had to overcome alot of Generational issues. Have I succeeded everytime perfectly? No. But when I fall, I dont stay down. I continuously strive not to repeat the patterns set before me. I'm going to call it 'The HeartWood Experiment" or something similar. Heartwood is the central part of the tree, and supports it. I want us to get back to finding the Central person that we all started off being, and return to that person...the one with destiny, purpose and dreams. Who we were before life, heartbreak, and circumstances caused us to set down our dreams and build hard shells around us. I will document the work that I do on this Program, because I know that this ought to be interesting...

I would love to have this years journey documented, along with my 'famous' Facebook MOPPS that my readers seem to so enjoy. Hopefully, this blog will inspire and empower someone else to pursue their dreams as well. During this time, I will be posting the irritating things that happen as well. I AM a Christian, indeed, but there are lots of things in life that drive me up the wall...and Im not afraid to speak on it. Call me what you will... but I am not fake about it. I can be real about my strengths AS WELL as my weaknesses!

I am married with 6 kids, and there is so much I have learned, and am still learning...but unfortunately, there is not much room for serious error in raising a family...however, you can all learn and grow from your mistakes if you stay away from a 'holier than thou' attitude with them, and learn to grow and change with them. So, you may get some parenting tips here, too.  Use at your own discretion...

So hang tight! Buckle your seat belts...
I've got a feeling...This year is definitely my year!
MW