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Myckelle Williams, Creator of the Heartwood Project™, a 16-hour intensive workshop focused on emotional healing from past strongholds. Myckelle is the author of the novel 'Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose', now available on Amazon.com. Once a homeless teen parent with a crisis pregnancy...now a Wife, mother, speaker, mentor, and Servant of Christ with a testimony of finding Grace while overcoming the odds. Myckelle is the co-founder of B.L.O.G. Online Magazine (www.blogmagazine.org) You can also hear Myckelle hosting on her Monthly Blogtalk Live! radio show on the 4th Thursdays at 8:00 est on www.blogtalkradio.com/blogtalklive For more information on booking Myckelle for an event or speaking engagement, email booking@mpowermentww.org, Or find Myckelle at: www.facebook.com/myckelle For more information on the Heartwood Project, visit www.theheartwoodproject.org

Monday, November 4, 2013

Giving Yourself the Gift of "NO"!

Learning When to Walk Away


By Myckelle Williams

10/28/2013


As we begin to create our fall schedules, a few of us are surprised in realizing just how many activities that we have piled on our plate. Many times we really have good intentions when we take on these extra activities, and want to be nice, helpful, ‘good Christians’, but we find ourselves burdened with more responsibilities than we are able to handle, which results in getting burned out and overwhelmed in the process. God does not call us to commit to everything, nor help everyone out there. He says that there is a time for everything, (Eccl. 3:1-8) and that we should also most importantly use wisdom in making decisions. (Pro. 4:7)

In Matthew 11: 28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” So if you are constantly stressed, and feel no rest and no peace in your daily life and activities, then somewhere you are out of line with your priorities in the Body of Christ.

If Jesus came to your home tonight for only one hour, what would he see? A life of chaos and commotion, or a peaceful place in which he feels welcome? How would you want to spend that hour with him? Running around handling business, on the computer or phone, or focused on sitting at his feet, learning, absorbing, loving on Him, and questioning Him about all the issues of life? It’s time to starts scheduling your life as if Jesus is already the center attraction and living as if he indeed the main priority.

The best gift that we can give to ourselves and others is the gift of NO. Learning when not to do something, even if its ministry or helping someone out. Learning to set boundaries and limits, turn down requests, and listening to God’s voice on whether or not to even undertake a project in the first place will save us a lot of stress in the long run. It’s better to do one thing at 100%, than give five things 25%, because you are not doing anyone any favors running on an empty tank of gas! Then when you get burnt out and overwhelmed, you end up not getting anything accomplished at all.

It is not God’s Will that we become another man’s SOURCE. If someone is coming to you for every problem and constantly need help (and despite what advice and assistance you always give them, they seem to always end up in the same predicament), then that is a sign that you are their source rather than God. It is not our job to take the place of God in anyone’s life, nor to get in God’s way when he is dealing with someone who may be in rebellion. This is why it is so important to seek Him first, before you make any important decisions when dealing with others.
Before you start a new project ask yourself the following 5 questions:


1)      Have you prayed about it?  The bible says to ‘Seek First the Kingdom” (Matt. 6:33) and to ‘acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your path’. (Prov. 3:6) In other words, before you make any decision it is important not only to seek God’s approval in prayer, but to wait until you hear an answer, or get confirmation before you step out in anything.

2)      Do you have time to think about it? Give any consideration at least three days before you give anyone an answer. When someone has a high pressure deadline on you to do something, that is a red-flag. Especially when it comes to financial issues. Never allow another person to pressure you into committing to something or you will resent them in the long run. You should never feel ‘guilted’ into doing something for someone, either with a sad story or the idea that you ‘owe it to them’. Your first priority is always to God, then your family, and having your own peace of mind

3)      Is it something you really need or want to do? Sometimes we get needs confused with wants. Is it helpful and beneficial or just something that sounds like a good idea? Just because something sounds good to you, doesn’t mean it is good for you.

4)      Does it fit into your schedule? It is important to make sure that you do not overcommit yourself. Always make sure you have room to do what is requested. Give yourself time to look at your schedule and see if it even fits in.

5)      Does it move you TOWARDS or AWAY from Purpose? If it’s not helping you, its hindering you, and will eventually be something that takes time away from what God wants you to do.
Remember, you are not helping someone by becoming their crutch. The most valuable lessons I learned in life were how to survive and make it in the world when there was no one but God to lean on. For parents; our children also need to learn this lesson as well: that God, and not you is their source, and that they must learn life skills that will enable them to become self-sufficient, capable adults that can stand on their own two feet. If they are given everything and bailed out of every situation, you end up crippling them for life! Trust me, when you set and maintain healthy boundaries, and teach them independence from you, and reliance on God, they will thank you.

Action assignment: this week as you review your schedule, look at areas that you need to say “No” in. Look at three activities that you can eliminate from your schedule for now. Maybe in a few months, or years, you can revisit and add some things back on, but for now the goal is to free up your time to pursue purpose. Let’s start putting Christ back in first place where he belongs, enter into his rest!

Albert Einstein — 'I am thankful to all those who said no. It's because of them, I did it myself.' 


~Myckelle

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