Giving Yourself the Gift of "NO"!

Learning When to Walk Away

By Myckelle Williams

10/28/2013

As we begin to create our fall schedules, a few of us are surprised in realizing just how many activities that we have piled on our plate. Many times we really have good intentions when we take on these extra activities, and want to be nice, helpful, ‘good Christians’, but we find ourselves burdened with more responsibilities than we are able to handle, which results in getting burned out and overwhelmed in the process. God does not call us to commit to everything, nor help everyone out there. He says that there is a time for everything, (Eccl. 3:1-8) and that we should also most importantly use wisdom in making decisions. (Pro. 4:7)

In Matthew 11: 28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” So if you are constantly stressed, and feel no rest and no peace in your daily life and activities, then somewhere you are out of line with your priorities in the Body of Christ.

If Jesus came to your home tonight for only one hour, what would he see? A life of chaos and commotion, or a peaceful place in which he feels welcome? How would you want to spend that hour with him? Running around handling business, on the computer or phone, or focused on sitting at his feet, learning, absorbing, loving on Him, and questioning Him about all the issues of life? It’s time to starts scheduling your life as if Jesus is already the center attraction and living as if he indeed the main priority.

The best gift that we can give to ourselves and others is the gift of NO. Learning when not to do something, even if its ministry or helping someone out. Learning to set boundaries and limits, turn down requests, and listening to God’s voice on whether or not to even undertake a project in the first place will save us a lot of stress in the long run. It’s better to do one thing at 100%, than give five things 25%, because you are not doing anyone any favors running on an empty tank of gas! Then when you get burnt out and overwhelmed, you end up not getting anything accomplished at all.

It is not God’s Will that we become another man’s SOURCE. If someone is coming to you for every problem and constantly need help (and despite what advice and assistance you always give them, they seem to always end up in the same predicament), then that is a sign that you are their source rather than God. It is not our job to take the place of God in anyone’s life, nor to get in God’s way when he is dealing with someone who may be in rebellion. This is why it is so important to seek Him first, before you make any important decisions when dealing with others.

Before you start a new project ask yourself the following 5 questions:

Close-eyed Christianity: Where Do We Draw the Line?

*A simple warning: this article isn’t going to be ‘fun’ to read. If you are one of those Christians who only wants to hear positivity and encouragement, and never want to be challenged where your flesh is concerned, then you may want to skip to another blog piece...Perhaps Joel Osteen has some light, pleasant motivation for today on his blog. This piece, however, isn’t going to raise those “feel good” mushy Christian feelings that will leave us excited and inspired. Rather, this article may bruise some egos and bristle some feathers, and some may even feel defensive and angry, and not even finish reading… but in my spirit, I felt led to write it anyway, and some things here just need to be said…and if you decide to continue anyway, fasten your seatbelt and hold tight to your wigs!

BROKEN PROMISES

Matt 26: 31-35

“Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:

   “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’  But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

  Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

  But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.

Why is it that sometimes we are so ‘assured’ of our own Goodness?  We are positive, and swear up and down that there are some things we will just NEVER do.  We have the upmost confidence in ourselves as a person, a Christian, a citizen. We make promises that we will always be faithful and true.  We claim to love and believe in God, and profess to be ‘Super-Christians’ who do no wrong.  We maintain that confidence…until circumstances overwhelm us…and then we do the very thing that we always promised us we would NEVER do!

Heart2Heart: The Kisses of an Enemy are Deceitful....

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

-Proverbs 27:6

What is a "Friend"?

Many of us have our own interpretation on what a friend represents, but what is it to you? Is it someone you can tell your secrets to? The co-worker that you see daily and talk over lunch? A friend from school that you share classes with? A loving boy/girlfriend who whispers sweet words in your ear? A buddy that you go out drinking with on Friday nights? What happens when the intimate bond between you is suddenly broken...or worse yet: betrayal occurs?

There have been tons of people over my lifetime who have claimed to 'love' me, and be my true friend. They have pledged allegiance to me and my family, and told me that they 'had my back' through anything.  Unfortunately, what I noticed is that many of these people were quick to turn on me when either I didn't let them have something they wanted, or disagreed with them in any way.
Before that point, I am the most wonderful person ever. But in times of conflict, when I upset
these 'friends'...Oh Boy, I experienced true wrath! Suddenly, to anyone who will listen, I am fake, a hypocrite, a bi**h, a non-Christian, and 'think I'm perfect' and 'know everything'.

I have thus discovered a startling revelation: The true test of friendship lies in experiences of adversity, and conflict.

Where Is She?

WHERE IS SHE?

 

A Poem By Myckelle W.

 

 

 

What has become of the Proverbs Woman?

The wife, the mother?

The helper, the keeper?

The backbone of families?

Oh, how we still need her!

 

Where are the women

Who mended, and tended

Who cooked, and baked daily

(the food never ended)

"Spring"-ing Forward!!

I am truly excited about several things that God is doing in my life:

1) My new book that I released this week, "Choosing the Road Less Traveled," which chronicles my journey towards Grace and redemption in the midst of trials and an unplanned pregnancy
2) I was admitted to three Universities, and have a few choices to make about the direction that we will be going this summer. I'm still seeking God on that one.
3) The new BLOGTalk Live! Talk show which has caused me to connect with some powerful women in an open format, and blessing me so much with the relationships that are being formed.

and 4) The Heartwood Project is finally DONE! Which, if you read my previous posts, is a 16 hour life empowerment workshop that is followed up with a 40 day journal that will change generations~!

Do you Really Want to Get Well?

John 5:5-9:

One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

 

..This man had been ill a long time, over 38 years. Jesus came along and didn’t ask him ‘Awwww…What happened?” nor listen to his story of hardship. Instead, Jesus immediately asked him, “Do you WANT to become well?”

Why did Jesus ask that question? Wouldn’t that be obvious? Well, not really, when you think about it. Because many of us say that we want to become well, we ask others to ‘pray for us” and we have a long story of issues/problems that we feel come against us. But when others ask us to go to church, or give us steps to take to get out of the situations that we are in, we make every excuse that we can…’Well my car won’t work’, ‘I’m too tired to get up and pray.’ ‘I can’t afford to go where God said.’ Etc. The man in the story gave an excuse first thing:  I can’t get down the steps, and when I try…others get in my way.”  Jesus didn’t listen to the excuse, instead He simply asked: “Do you really WANT to get well?”

It's HERE!!~My First Book ;)*

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”~ Jeremiah 29:11

When God creates us, he has a Vision in mind. As Jeremiah 29:11 states, he has PLANS for us. He sees in us what we fail to see in ourselves. He sees what we are going to be, not what we are. And everything He does during our upbringing is for the purpose of growing us into what we are meant to be. The end result is what God sees from the time he placed us in our mother’s womb. And all of the talents, gifts and abilities that he placed in us are there to help accomplish the Purpose that He has for our lives. Eventually, it is intended to prosper us, give us hope, and a future!

This book is my own unique journey of a road less traveled—but perhaps, one that is not so uncommon as I at one time believed. I share how I survived a teenage pregnancy, and overcame generational dysfunction, to raise a more stable next generation.

What Prevents You from Reaching Your ‘Promised Land”?

 

Many of you have all at one time had high aspirations, and dreams of becoming a ‘successful’ person in life. You take classes, attend seminars and read countless ‘self help’ books that tell you how to ‘get rich quick’, create a business that will earn 6 figures in a matter of months. You search desperately for a great partner, and find yourselves drawn into the same types of toxic relationships, dealing with the same issues and drama in each new relationship.  You try to find creative ways to get out of debt, and can’t seem to get rise above a certain income level no matter how hard you work. You soon become tired of being in the same place year after year, with seemingly no way out of what seems like a ‘dead end’ life. You wonder why you seem to be wandering in circles, seemingly on an endless quest to have a prosperous future, but it always seems to elude you…frustratingly always just right beyond your grasp.

Moving Forward…and Leaving Condemnation Behind

"I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all."-Maya Angelou

The definition of Sin is “Missing the Mark.” Whether intentional or unintentional, sin in our lives separates us from God and makes it difficult to obtain (blocks) the full blessings that He has waiting for us. The bible consistently mentions the importance of scrutinizing and examining our own (not everyone else’s) conduct and works, and checking for any areas that may not be under subjection to the spirit. In today’s times, sin seems to be a dirty word, but realistically, if we want to be healed, we are to recognize it exists, and constantly evaluate whether or not we have sinful behavior lingering in our lives…areas that we are missing God’s mark in.

After the Storm...

"I planted, Apollos watered, but God [all the while] was making it grow and [He] gave the increase."~ 1 Corinthians 3: 6

When seeds are planted, they first need to be watered, and then the planted must wait during several seasons, giving the young seedling a chance to take root, and grow. Usually a harsh winter precedes spring, and once the snow has melted, the young sprouts make their way through the dirt. Although sometimes we withstand storms in our own life, eventually the result will be fruit that is born to impact the next generation...if we allow it to.

Two years ago, our business failed, we lost our home in a fire, had our cars repossessed, and got stranded in a foreign land (Memphis, Tennessee) with no help from anyone, having been taken advantage of by a family member, who was also a pastor...

New Years Resolution: A Revival~!

Flashback: This year has truly been eye opening! A year of both triumphs, heartache, joys and pain. A few of the highs: We were blessed with our second grandchild, and reminded that we are creating a legacy and the daily things that we do are making an impact for the next generation. BLOG Magazine closed out its first year with an awesome team of beautiful women that have learned how to respect and love one another despite our differences, and I successfully completed another semester of college towards my degree. On the other side; we were also challenged in the area of our marriage, one of our children straying and going wayward, and endured deceitful attacks through extended family. The enemy knows the power we have as a family, and again sought through our challenges to 'divide and conquer'...one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Announcement: We were again not moved! When the enemy attacks us, we simply dig our heels in and discover New Ways to use the experience to minister to others. With every obstacle in life, you can either cave in, cry and whine "why me' or you can counterattack the enemy and use the experience as a lesson learned, grow with it, and make it into a testimony to share with others going through something similar!!